Friday, September 25, 2009


This has become one of the most profound statements at work and certainly one that I will miss greatly.

I am going to back track and make this a quick story, for those of you who are not familar. I was getting ready to take my lunch break at work one day and apparently didn't lock my computer. While I was gone a co-worker, also known as the Whoopi-bug, decided to get on my computer and email the girl that sits beside me, * Parker. Let me remind you all that this email is being sent from MY computer. The email does not contain a body; only a subject with the words "YOU LOOK UGLY TODAY!"  Good news is *Parker was at lunch with me and we knew without a doubt that the Whoopi-bug had been the email culprit.

Needless to say, the email circulated the entire department plus multiple circle of friends; and is now mentioned on a daily basis either through email, text, instant messaging, or in simple conversation. There is nothing more amusing than walking up to a co-worker at 8:30 in the morning while getting coffee and making small talk and walk away leaving the person with the words "oh- by the way, YOU LOOK UGLY TODAY!" Surprisingly it will put you, instantly, in a good mood.

So, as my last day here at work approaches the final hours, I look around and realize that I am really going to miss this place. I will absolutely love what I am doing in Florida, but WOW, there is nothing better than the drama filled, action-packed days at work.  No more hearing about "mama, colonostrophy bags, glockeoma, barbeque sandwiches and genital creams" and yes I know that those are all spelled incorrectly but that is done purposefully. No more hearing the Whoopi-bug's piercingly horrible voice as it sings and then screams that is sounds great, while the rest of the office frantically searches for earplugs -or her hacking cough that sounds like she will drop dead any minute. No more watching the 50+ year old women chase each other around the office like 12 year olds, all over a bag of pork rinds....and NOT get in trouble. No more wondering if the 72 year old is going to show up or what disease she saw on 20/20 the night before that she now has and no more smell of moth balls choking me out everyday! Damn, I will really miss this place. Oh, and how could I forget the geniuses on the third floor that think I am doing one of two things:

1.) Going to help the dolphins that have had strokes

2.) Going to teach the dolphins how to talk

Ok, well enough bashing, I need to actually get something done on this final day at the office. Until next time I leave you with this....


* Name has been changed to protect the innocent

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