Thursday, December 9, 2010

On a more serious note-PREGNANCY & BIRTH-

So I know there are other funny and crazy things that have happened between Easter Sunday and present but my brain is overwhelmed with thoughts of my experience the past 5 days, and I can't think of anything else really.

The past 38 weeks have gone by so quickly- literally from the time I handed Brian that + test--up to now just seem like a handful of days. I never experienced morning sickness, had a handful of cravings, couldn't see my feet past 3 1/2 months of pregnancy, got humongous, gained a total of 46 pounds, had convinced myself I was having a toddler, tried to "shave" the area all by looked like I had broken out in the worst STD infection someone has ever seen because of all of the I opted to never do that again and was completely obsessed with my belly and the little thing inside of it. I was convinced it was a monkey because it moved around all of the time but later found out that it was infact a human, a little girl that we instantly named Reagan Layne. She became our pride and joy and we talked about her like she was already with us. I thought she was amazing! So....37 weeks and 5 days pregnant.....and I develop high blood pressure.... preeclampsia. They decided on Monday, the day I was 38 weeks, to induce labor. I had not had any emotions, really, the entire time I had been preganant. In the begining I cried a little because I wanted her to be perfect and ok- and when that passed I never had a hormonal madness or sadness time. I was pretty jolly the entire pregnancy...until Monday, October 11th when I had to go to the doctor so they could check my blood pressure. I went straight from there to Brian's office, took one look at him, said "We are having a baby today," and completelty lost it....and have yet to find it! We get our bags and head to Vanderbilt. I was prepared for a natural childbirth- no drugs- mind over matter- and oh yea, Brian and I were supposed to be taking a childbirth class/newborn infant care class on Thursday!

So the induction process starts around 4ish. We r just hanging out. My mom is there, Brian, and a team of doctors that explain how slow this process will be and that since my BP was so high I would be on a Magnesium drip so I would be bedridden with a catheter- making natural childbirth less fun because you can't walk fastforward to 4:00am as I am screaming out in pain and finally call for an epidural. That part was great and about an hour later I am telling the nurse that it's not pain- but pressure that is becoming too much. She checks me...and yep, we are ready to go. I text everyone in the family to let them know that pushing starts about 5:30 and we could have baby by 6:00am :)...... wishful, wishful thinking. I pushed for 3 hours and the resident said it's enough. You have two options, forceps or c-section, I was lliterally so dead tired that I couldn't even talk- much less make a decision- so I was asking everyone in the room to make the decision for me- I am pretty certain my mumbled words's whatever! hahah So I took about a 45 minute nap- yes, contractions and all, and then pushed for about 20 more minutes with forceps and out came my tiny monkey! And there is was, Tuesday, October 12th @ 11:04 am. I OFFICIALLY became a mommy. It was amazing- SHE was amazing- black and blue from being stuck under my pelvis for so long; but she was amazing nonetheless. It was more emotion and love then I have ever felt...more love than I could have ever imagined. They put her on my belly/chest and left her there for a minute and then Brian cut the cord and they took her right over to a team of NICU nurses that cleaned her up and weighed her. I muscled up enough energy to ask how much she weighed and when one of the nurses said "6 lbs. 9 oz." I responded that "that was unacceptable" and "I needed to know what they did with the toddler I was carrying around!" Once I knew my baby girl was good to go, had a bracelet that matched mine and saw Brian following close behind where she was going, I passed out! The whole 20 hour process was a lot to handle!

So fastforward to today (October 15th). We are still in the hospital. I have been discharged but my precious little girl is jaundice and is still here. I can not seem to get my emotions under control. I can't stop crying, I just want to be able to take my little girl home- and to see her laying there helpless under the phototherapy lights....I seriously have never felt this heartbroken ever before! We have been through so much the past 3 days and as hard as it has been, I have never felt more in love with my husband as I do right now. Something changes when you have a was like I fell in love with Brian all over again, even more so than the first time. I also don't deserve him. Because I had a magnesium drip I could not get up from the bed for 24 hours after birth (did I mention I couldn't eat anything either!); this means no walking to/fro the bathroom; which means either cath or bed pan. I chose the bed pan. My poor husband was actually helping the nurses change the bed pan, my pads and putting medication in places that most husbands probably don't even know exist! I have never appreciated anyone as much as I appreciate him. It has definitely been a humiliatig experience for me- it is not what husbands sign up for- yet my Brian took it all in stride and simple said, "It is what I am here for." Not to mention he is trying to keep my sanity from running away while we wait for some news about us being discharged.

Seriously black & blue!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Catching Up!

Well, since I had some time on my hands (having just given birth but we will get back to that later), I figured now was a perfect time to seriously update the blog!

It has been forever and a day since I have last been on and so many things have happened. Some funny, some sad but nonetheless every bit entertaining. Oh yes, the pregnancy story- short and sweet. So it was a cold winter, we were bored, we made a baby....I sort of thought I may be pregnant but I have NEVER been one of those girls that kept track of THAT sort of thing (now I clearly know I had NO idea what ovulation was) and I just sort of waited for "Pearl" to come visit each month. I was going to happy hour with some girlfriends so I took a PG test - just to make was negative- same thing the next day- negative again, so on Wed. afternoon I go with some girls and have about 8 margaritas too many- wake up the next morning at the crack of dawn to go to a boot camp class- take a PG test and there it was......the + symbol. Granted, it was 4 in the morning so I thought it was just me. I threw it aside on the counter and thought, "I will come back to this later." Well before I left again, like a child looking for Santa to come down the chimney, I crept in the bathroom and looked over onto the counter....still +. Dang! So I run upstairs, turn on all of the lights, ask Brian if his glasses are on his nightstand- his response "What have all of the lights on...I can see!" So I hand him the stick and ask him what he thinks + means. He looks at me and says, "I guess it means your pregnant, how do you feel?" I said, "It's so weird....we are going to have a baby?!?!?!?  How do you feel?" He says, "Weird!" I said, "What, that we are pregnant or the fact that you are holding a stick full of urine??!" And with that I kissed his mouth and ran out the door to my bootcamp class- which was the last time I went because after that I was just plain tired!  So yes- pregnant we were!

So where should I start...I am trying to think about about events over the past year and one in particular really sticks out, we will just call it Easter Sunday.


I guess at this point in life I am only about 2 months and some change pregnant, totally exhausted 100% of the time and had seriously gained like 12 pounds already....and had not changed my diet. I just figured I must be having a giant! So it is Easter Sunday morning and Brian and I are getting ready for church. I am downstairs in the shirt I am going to wear and my underwear- ironing my white pants; Brian is upstairs getting ready and all is content in our little lives. Our Rhodesian Ridgeback, Sadie, comes over to my leg while I'm ironing and sits right by me. I give her a quick glance and think, "Oh, she must know I'm prego, what a sweetie!" But something catches my eye and I have to look at her again.....OMG she has a freaking squirrel hanging out of her mouth and has brought it to me to reward her...yes a SQUIRREL....not a stuffed one either- like one she chased down outside! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH I started screaming and screaming..."Brian, Brian, Brian.....OMG come here- HELP!" I was scared to death the thing wasn't dead- I had visions of Chevy Chase and Christmas vacation running through my head....I was like "Sadie, NO- GO!" Well that scared her- so she dropped it, (yes- right near me), and started pacing back and forth because she thought she was in trouble. I hear Brian running upstairs, get to the stairs, run down about 4 and then leap down the rest. Landing flat footed on the hardwood floor, he grabs his back and starts screaming- note- he isn't running toward me like he should have been. I immediately start screaming- OMG YOU ARE PARALYZED!!!!!!!!  So take a step back and invision this, dog pacing and barking around the prizze squirrel, other dog running back and forth because he has NO idea what is going on, ME, in my underwear screaming that my husband is paralyzed and my poor husband standing in the livingroom holding his back,, not moving and going "ow, ow, ow!"
So, he manages to make his way over to me and is like "What...what is it?" I guess in all of the confusion he didn't realize he was standing right by the squirrel; so I pointed and said "THAT!" hahhahah Brian jumps back and screams. So he goes downstairs to get something to get it with. While in the basement the squirrels tail starts to move so I, again, go into instant panic mode and start screaming. Brian runs up and is like, "WHAT?" I cease all screaming and in the most sarcastic of my tones look at him and say, "Really....paper brought up papertowels to get the squirrel?!?!" Brian said, "Oh, is it alive?"
Anyway- he ends up stuffing the squirrel in the trash and we finally make it to church; however, Brian did lay down some ground rules from that point being pregnant and all. He said this....exactly, "The next time there is an emergency in the house, don't just scream. You need to scream out the emergency. Like if there is a fire you will say "FIRE, FIRE, FIRE" or if you are having pain you will say...I interuppted and clearly let Captain Safety know....I got it!

Monday, April 19, 2010

I'm Back...........

I realize it has been a hot minute since I have posted anything, much less been on here, but I have been extremely busy since Florida. When I have a lot more time, I will fill everyone in on how Florida was....and all the funny, sad, and of course unusually odd things that would only happen to me! Just know that I am back and I am going to try to update as often as possible! Pictures and stories to come!!!